There is a quote largely attributed to a Chinese proverb: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now.”
Life is a journey, yet most of our knowledge at the beginning comes from those around us. They feed us knowledge from their experiences and beliefs. We in turn, take some of their advice, internalize some and discard the rest. The rest of our knowledge comes from what we can learn, experience and observe in the world.
We start innocently enough with dreams, aspirations and goals. Many of our younger selves are idealistic, headstrong and bright-eyed about the future.
The life happens.
Bad relationships derail your family plans. Bad relationships can create unintended family plans and having children can create issues if the couple is having issues. Bad financial moves may delay your goals, especially if you need significant funds for your goals.
Finances are the main factor in every person's life. We don't all have the same dreams and goals or experiences and backgrounds or even the same interests or ideals. What we do have is a life impacted greatly by the decisions we make with our finances.
It could be a promotion you were angling for didn't come through or maybe you lost your job altogether.
While all these things in life were swirling around you, chaos and collisions like a large storm and heavy winds throwing debris, you lost the ideal. It could be you didn't have a desire to start your own business and never set out with a specific plan. You just lived for the momet without a real thought about the future.
When the time has passed by it may seem you have run out of time. It may feel like it is too late. You may believe yourself too old. Too inexperienced. Too intimadated by the project. You may not want to start over on something new when you've built yourself a comfortable life.
For those who still feel the itch, the feeling you can't quite let go of then this is for you. It isn't too late.
Like the quote says, the next best time is to start now. We are too hard on ourselves, full of guilt for not trying, or not trying hard enough. Don't worry about what you didn't do in the past. Don't fret about what could have been, it isn't, instead focus on the what could be. A future yet to be determined. A life yet to be decided.
It all sounds well and good, but where do you begin? How do you overcome the delays and setbacks to move forward. Whatever the goal you have to do some true discovery and it starts with yourself.
Are Your Feelings Accurate?
Those thoughts you think about yourself, your chances and your ability are not always true. We can't see clearly in the situation if we are emotionally attached. Have you ever had a friend in a bad relationship and everyone can see it but them?
We do this all the time to ourselves. We can see the issues others face but fail to see it in ourselves. People tend to be harder on themselves then they are with others. Often this can stem from the lofty expectations we place on oursleves and where we should be in life. We give ourselves high ratings on things like driving, but we believe our ideas, our art are not worthy of praise or appreciation.
First, interrogate your opinions of yourself. Are you not good at x? Is it truly too late for your goal? In some cases it may be late, if you are trying to fight in the UFC but you're 60 it will be tough. It doesn't mean you can't beocme a trainer for those fighters, or involved in others ways related to your dream.
Is what you are thinking actually true? Approach it like a person from the outside would. If you were the consultant for yourself what would your opinion be?
Second, forgive yourself for procrastinating. According to 2009 study published in 2010,
“Learning to forgive the self for procrastinating will likely be beneficial by reducing procrastination, but also more generally by promoting feelings of self-worth and more positive mental health .”
The initial results indicate forgiving ourselves can lead to greater productivity. When we are hard on ourselves it reduces the willingness for us to try again because we start to fear, not the failure, but how the failure will make us fear. Instead, acknowledge where you made a mistake, procrastinated or didn't quite get it right. Acknowledge it and move on to the next task.
Life is a moving train. Either you hop on and ride it for as long as you can, contributing to your community and society in ways both big and small. Or it passes by and leaves you behind. The beauty of life is, as long as you're breathing, there are other stations.
Focus Only On What's Next?
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Depending on your aim the gravity of what you may want to do could be quite overwhelming. Sometimes it is the first step we refuse to take because we look up at the height of the mountain. We start staring at the peak, so high up it is obscured by the clouds and our legs weak. Our weight becomes too heavy.
Most people who stop usually do so before they ever get started. Sometimes it is the self talk and lack of belief but other times it is the size of the goal. Audacious goals should seem insane. Still one look up the mountain and we don't feel we belong. Imposter syndrome. We don't have the knowledge necessary, the skill or experience to make it to the summit.
Most of those things you gather on the journey. You cannot wait until you've studied all the material, studied all the videos, take ever course you can find. By the time you start much of what you learned will be obsolete. Especially if you are in technology. Other information may be applicable but not in every situation and none of the material you study will ever be exactly what you encounter.
Your experiences could be significantly different. For example, common wisdom on Youtube videos is to post everyday but there are channels with slightly longer for videos who post once every month or two with millions of followers. The keys you learn are good guidelines but they are not the end-all-be-all of what works.
Only worry about the next step. Motivational speaker and, probably an author at this point, Les Brown has said, to not worry about the details but just work toward the goal and the details will figure themselves out. The support, the hep you need, the financing, these things will come. Don't focus too hard on them, just do the work.
“You can dance in the storm. Don't wait for the rain to be over before because it might take too long. You can can do it now. Wherever you are, right now, you can start, right now; this very moment.” Author Israelmore Ayivor
Focus on what to do next. So you need to meet with a specific person? Set up a meeting. You need to place an ad or an order for more supplies? Start one by one. You've been growing so much you need to hire an employee? Perfect. You can research how to hire, hire a firm to take over those HR choices or rely on who you have until you establish hiring practices. Focus only on the next step.
There is great value in planning ahead but if you suffer from overwhelm just take it step-by-step and day-by-day.
Change Your State of Mind
As with all of these examples, it all begins inside of you.
First, do not wait for the perfect moment because perfect moments do not exist. I won't advocate putting your financial future in peril with risky bets on yourself, your business, or your future. I will say it is sometimes worth it to leap to faith. It can be devastating if things don't land right, but sometimes there is no way to pull the boat to the dock before jumping out and onto the shore. Sometimes you have to swim.
Second, shift the way you approach issues. One of my favorite quotes comes from Ben Zander, the Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra. Whenever he encounters a problem, he says, "How fascinating?" It shifts our minds from a negative state into a positive and curious one. Curiosity is beneficial to success because it forces you to ask questions. When asking questions, do so out of wonder and interest.
This mentality will help you avoid frustration and anger whenever problems arise. As you continue your journey, you will find more than your fair share of problems, don't let them throw you off the trail.
Third, be the kind of person who can achieve the goal. The reason movies work so well is not only because of a well-told story but also because the characters change. They become something greater than they were or believed they were.
We yearn for our own growth story, our character arc. So, what type of person do you need to be to reach the goal. Do you need to be a fit person? A committed person? Understanding who you need to be will give you direction.
In your pursuit, the path may not be as clear. It is up to you to figure out the values and personality of the type of person who would achieve this goal. Think about climbing Mount Everest. It takes a person with deep commitment, toughness, and grit. Start behaving like the person you need to be.
What's Next?
There is much work needed to get to where we want to go. Keep in mind while you have a lifetime to get to where you are going, you don't know how long it will be for you. In The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman, his character death confronts a man whose soul she has come to take. In the ensuing encounter, she says to him, "You get what anybody gets - you get a lifetime."
Interrogate your feelings and see if they are accurate. Don't just believe what you tell yourself. The same as if others had something to say about you, would you believe them? Are they right?
Forgive yourself for making mistakes. Forgive yourself for procrastinating. Learn to forgive yourself and move forward. You can only learn from the past, but you still have the power to shape your future.
Take it one step at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with the result and the potential complexity of what you may need to do. Instead, focus only on what to do next. No time is the right time, and the experiences you gain on the journey will help to propel you further along.
Change the way you think. Eliminate the negative and embrace the positive frame of mind. Please think of how fascinating these issues are and how they are developing you into a better version of yourself. We all want a character arc as we see in the movies. We want to feel as though we are growing and becoming something more.
Model yourself as a person who is capable of reaching those heights.
As you ascend this mountain, walk the trail or sail this sea. Whatever your adventure is, always remember to take a look back at all you've accomplished. The heights you've climbed, the distance you've covered. Then the peak will get smaller and smaller.
Plant the tree now. It isn't too late to get to where you're going. I hope to see you there.