Featured Image Credit: Gratisography
I've had that feeling. Lonely. Staring up at a significant obstacle. A snow-capped mountain. The summit is the completion of a goal. Cold air cuts through any exposed skin sending shivers through the nerves. It would be a terrifying sight.
It can feel lonely. People don't quite understand what you're doing or why. They implore you to lead an everyday life. Pursuing dreams and goals can feel the same.
Back at the mountain, the trek begins with a first step forward. The steps start off easy enough. Over time the walk gets steeper. And steeper. And steeper. Legs ache, and exhaustion sets in. The hike begins to turn into a climb. The steep horizontal swiftly becomes vertical.
I used to climb and did so for a few years. Most of these climbs took place in a gym with ropes and harnesses. It still takes muscle to climb, but a fall causes you some discomfort. A fall on a real mountain could be fatal. A fall from your dreams could mean financial and emotional damage.
I think it's clear what happens. The thought of every non-climber witnessing a steep ledge: What happens if I fall? Climbers don't think like that; they can't afford any doubt. But doubt is easy. After all, pursuing a goal generally won't lead to serious injury. Financial issues are survivable. The body can heal some emotional trauma.
So it is easier to have the doubt penetrate. I've talked with enough people to know so many encounters with this problem.
What if your work isn't good enough? What if I invest in this restaurant and it doesn't work? What if I try and fail?
You should consider those valid questions, valid concerns, and authentic questions.
I saw a MEME recently. The MEME said the only two people you need to make happiest. Eight-year-old you and eighty-year-old you.
Years ago, I read a blog post about the regrets of dying. The author interviewed those who were dying to discover their biggest regrets.
The number regret was the opportunities missed. People will regret the things they don't do more than the things they did do.
Imagine eighty-year-old you; what do you think they would have wished you did? Would they have been happy playing it safe? Or would they have preferred to take the chance?
The regret is higher for missed opportunities. This is because you don't get to answer the question: what if?
Instead, it remains an open-ended question. What if?
What if you fail in this endeavor, get halfway up, and fall back? You may break bones. You may hurt your pride. After all, there may be no harness to catch you.
What if you make it? What if you don't fall? I spent too long thinking of unlikely things that keep me from pursuing my goals. Motivational speaker Les Brown spent ten years afraid of opinions. This prevented him from pursuing his dream of a speaking career.
Before he became a name, he was nobody living in his office. Struggling to succeed. He failed many times. Now he is well-known and respected in his field.
If you fall, how could you possibly recover? Recover from ridicule or financial stress? Recover from your wounded pride or frustration? Some obstacles seem so large they cast a shadow you can't seem to outrun.
You can, but it isn't easy all the time.
Reassess Your Path
When climbing in these gyms, I usually just hop on and climb. It was a climbing gym, so I would climb. My climbing partner Mike would plot a pathway. He would look and mind map the moves before he started climbing.
Occasionally, I would get stuck, trying to figure out the next move. Mike had smoother climbs because of his planning, expending less energy.
It is helpful to step back and reassess your approach when you encounter difficult obstacles. After all, if you feel then your first approach may not be the most efficient.
Try to diagnose what went wrong. I'm stubborn. My first approach is to try to push through. Although I succeeded but expended energy and time, I didn't have to.
Figure out the issues and determine a new approach. Is it something you can change? Is it something that occurred external? In some businesses, you could run up against a change in regulations. You have no control over regulations but need to find solutions.
A consistent review of your plan can help keep you ahead of any changes.
Recharge Your Batteries
Walk away. At least for a time. If you face a mental equation, your subconscious can work while you distract yourself. I talk about the power of our subconscious a little more here. Take a step off from the frustrating activity and shift your focus. Consider working on peripheral parts of the project while you rest.
You can do other vital work separate from the main project. Allow your mind to work and breathe.
We can get tunnel vision. There is value in taking a day to refresh.
Change your Perspective
Reading the body language of the participants. I knew someone who was dishing out relationship advice. This person had answers about why a couple was terrible. She had all the answers except for her own relationships.
It is easy to see things when you are outside of a situation than when you are in it. This is how someone so wise with others couldn't be for themselves.
Whether it's emotion or stubbornness, visions get constricted. Take a moment to step outside of your situation. View your obstacle as a different person might. By changing our perspectives, we see things differently.
The doors open to unique approaches. Removing our emotions helps us remain objective. Once removed, we can make choices that make the most sense.
What's Next?
We all fall. Challenges get difficult. The key is not letting the threat of a fall convince you to walk away from what you want. Instead, take the shot. Then, if you do fall, take the proper steps and reengage.
Reassess your approach. If it fails, it might not be perfect. Everyone has a plan until they get into battle. Adjust your approach or your plan and get back onto the path. It could be simple or could require a new direction. Don't let one obstacle stop you from getting where you want.
Recharge your batteries. Take time to walk away and refresh before returning to an issue. Sometimes we don't think clearly in the heat of the struggle. A little time away can work wonders for the subconscious mind to act.
Change your perspective. Treat the situation as if someone was telling you, their problem. This helps to prevent emotion from influencing the decisions made. You may even need to reframe your expectations.
Failure and falling are a part of the journey. Some falls have the potential to be painful or devastating. It is up to you to assess how much risk you are willing to take. It doesn't mean taking dangerous risks because you might regret it. Remember, most people regret what they don't do.
Instead, it may mean planning your approach better and finding the best time to take your shot.