Negative Thoughts? Do This.

Have you ever been about to do something, a presentation, a video, or put together a project and started imagining all the negative feedback you were going to get?

Have you put out something and received mostly positive feedback but focused on the negative comments and feedback? You have a negative bias.

Negativity bias is when adverse events significantly affect us more than positive ones. It isn’t uncommon or rare. Negative information was vital for survival. It was an essential part of human development over millennia. To survive in harsh environments, humans had to pay attention to the threats waiting in the outside world.

This, like some other survival traits, can keep us from wanting to achieve our goals.

I was watching an interview with battle rapper and performer Adam Woollard, stage name Shuffle T. Over the last few years, he has become very popular both in his native United Kingdom but also in Canada and the United States.

His many hours of Youtube content have been viewed millions of times (over 7 million as I write this). Within those millions of views, he has received thousands of positive compliments. In an interview, he spoke about how he still will see all these comments and focus on the negative ones.

I’ve done this in my own life. I will get many positive compliments about my work, creative project, or presentation, but one negative comment would bother me. It was even worse when I was younger.

When I was younger, I had various insecurities, like many teenagers of my era. No matter how many friends or positive compliments I got, I would focus on the one sideways comment. Even if it wasn’t a big deal. It would bother me.

It took a few years for me to overcome this sensitivity though it isn’t completely erased from what I do. Years of investing in myself and who I wanted to be is what began to give me my confidence.

The biggest issue with a negativity bias, aside from, you know, the negativity, is that it is harder to flip to the positive side of the equation.

According to a study by Psychologist Alison Ledgerwood and Amber Boydstun found, “once a person mentally represents an object as a potential threat, it may be more difficult to reconstrue it as a potential opportunity than it is to convert from an essentially positive mental representation to an essentially negative one.” (1)

Negative frames are said to be stickier. People can go from positive to negative about an event quickly. Once people are introduced to the negative first, it is far harder to switch to the positive.

People also fear getting “no’s” to a request. It is taken personally. A rebuke against the person instead of what it is, a decline of the request.

Despite how difficult it can be to overcome, there are ways to get past it. It may take significant time to make meaningful progress; everyone moves at their own pace.

Awareness is the first key to overcoming an issue. Acknowledging that it happens is an important step. When you feel yourself venture into the world of negative thoughts, take a moment, and pause your thoughts.

 
Consider the positives of what you’ve done. Perhaps it was a report that you worked hard to complete. A presentation you gave to a group of people. Celebrate completing the activity. Psychologists say for positivity to be retained, you must hold it in your mind for a bit longer than a negative thought.

 
Hold onto the positives for a while. Then identify the negative thought or comments. Is it valid? Can you learn from it? If yes, reframe the negative comment as a positive statement you can act upon in the future.

If not, then forget it. You won’t be able to change or address it. Most feedback is subjective. You may hate a particular movie, but everyone you know likes it. We all have our reasons.

Focus on the positives in your interactions. It is possible to change the notion of a negative critique and turn it into a positive frame. If you default to a negative, it is harder to change to a positive frame. Take your time.

 
Position the negative in context. If you got a thousand compliments and one complaint, you should keep doing what you are doing. It is helping thousands of people.

 
Change the nature of the comment. If someone says they didn’t like something specific you talked about, then it means they were paying attention and interested. It is a potential future audience member.

 
If someone insults you, it eliminates them from being friends or colleagues, and you can ignore them.

 
A positive outlook helps mental health, while negativity bias has negative health impacts. If others disregard your work, it could be helpful to get their feedback. Otherwise, it narrows your potential audience so you can focus more on them.

If you want to read a bit more on framing I wrote another blog post about it here.

As mentioned above, changing our minds to a positive after exposure to negatives is very difficult. It won’t happen overnight or all at once. Changing our minds from a negative bias into a positive frame takes time.

 
It will take time and patience. Awareness and constantly calling yourself out for this negative behavior is an excellent step in the right direction.

You may find yourself lapsing into old habits. Don’t get frustrated. Start again. Like working toward our goals, you don’t always see improvement early; it takes time. This is the same way.

Negative bias impacts many people. Many may not realize what it is they’re doing. News broadcasts specialize in negativity and fear because it keeps people tuned in longer than positive news stories.

 
Many other avenues vying for your attention will show negative-based headlines to influence you or capture your attention.
Being aware you are being negative is the first step in overcoming the issue. Simply by realizing and calling out what is happening, you can stop the negative thought before it fully gets planted in your mind.

Once you are aware of negativity bias, you can change the framing of the destructive act. Whether it is a comment, quip, or question, you can change it to a more positive tone. Take the valuable feedback, eliminate what you cannot change, and move forward.

Understand there is no overnight fix. No one-time problem-solving solution. It takes time, commitment, and patience, like everything else worth doing.

 
With all the negativity floating around, you definitely do not need to add to it. Instead, catch yourself in those negative moments and stop them before it becomes an issue.

(1) Ledgerwood, A., & Boydstun, A. E. (2013, March 25). Sticky Prospects: Loss Frames Are Cognitively Stickier Than Gain Frames. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/a0032310